thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
