I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I pour the whiskey from now on
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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