Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
