dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
