I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
