Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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