Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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