she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
