im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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