Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm bleeding and have questions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
