feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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