lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
