We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
