opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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