I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
