Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize