Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
