I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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