Your face is a jimmy john
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
