All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
