he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
