I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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