he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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