Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
