I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
