i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize