everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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