So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
