do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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