I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
