in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
