im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She bit a glass in half.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
