That's intense
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
