Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
