upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
