nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
