I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
