She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
ttyl tear gas
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
