Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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