After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
