Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
