I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
