he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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