she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
