Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Randomize