i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
