I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize