at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
