Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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