I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize