She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
