are you still at the devil's house?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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