we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
