haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The Olympian is in my bed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
