If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
