You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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