so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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