Kiss
Puke
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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