There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
