I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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