I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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