she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
