i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
