How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize