I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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