I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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