So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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